Authentic Self: A Journey to Your True Self, energy waves

I seem to be hearing people say a lot lately, ‘they’re not being their authentic self’ or this will show you how to ‘be your authentic self’.

So what does being your authentic self really mean?

And does it mean the same for everybody?

I believe being your authentic self means living in alignment with your true nature values, beliefs and desires.

Embracing who YOU are instead of conforming to the expectations of others, not giving into external pressures and the expectations of society.

It’s about celebrating your uniqueness by not trying to be someone you’re not to be accepted, to fit in.

However, how can we be our authentic self, our true nature when we often don’t know who we really are.

When we were very young we did know our true nature, and we weren’t afraid to show it.

Perhaps you were the loud, funny one always making people laugh, maybe you were quiet and were quite happy playing on your own.

Perhaps, you were creative and loved coming up with new games full of imagination.

For me, I was joyful, mum said she could often hear me singing in my cot before I could talk.

I was creative, loved to play on my own and come up with new ideas, when I was old enough I loved to draw, especially cartoons (channelling the my fun side).

However, what I remember the most was being really sensitive, especially to the energy around me.

However, this sensitivity soon became an issue that pretty much played out in my life until I discovered the truth.

Taking in other people’s negativity, finding being in drama too much to bear, I was often told to stop crying, ‘you’re too sensitive’ they’d say, so I learnt to shut this part of me down in a quest to fit in and be accepted.

As a result I shut my heart down which made relationships difficult.

The truth is that most of us have shut down part of us, our authentic self. Also most of us don’t know what our true values and beliefs are because we’ve been so conditioned to take on the values and beliefs of others, from our parents, society, culture etc.

So how do we get back to being who we truly are?

The only way is to un-layer what we’ve programmed, to let go of all those thoughts, habits, patterns, and beliefs that we learnt when we weren’t able to decipher if they were right for us.

To let go of our trauma.

1. SELF AWARENESS

Being willing to look at yourself with compassion is the key to lasting change and transformation.

Noticing your beliefs, habits, patterns and owning how you show up in all of your relationships (including your relationship with life, money, and yourself) and having the willingness to change you is the key to a happy and fulfilling life.

2. HONESTY

To have a good level of self-awareness you have to be honest with yourself and others.

This means being open and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This is about taking the layers off that have been covering the real you.

Letting go of defensiveness, sarcasm, trying to please others and instead getting clear on what this is covering up.

3. MAKING NEW CHOICES

With your new level of self-awareness and honesty, it’s time to make new choices.

What no longer works for you that you’ve been going along with?

Perhaps for fear of the repercussions if you don’t. However, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

This includes playing the same roles with people. Once you stop trying to rescue others, you’ll notice how they start showing up and taking self-responsibility. Once you stop playing the victim, you’ll notice how empowered you feel.

4. COURAGE & COMPASSION

Making these changes doesn’t come easy at times, so it will take courage, however, it is worth it.

Sometimes during this un-layering journey, we can tend to be too hard on ourselves. However, this isn’t useful and puts us back into the role of victim.

So please remember this,

'the trauma, beliefs, habits and decisions you made before the age of 7 were not your fault'.

So have huge amounts of compassion for yourself and remember you already are whole. There is nothing wrong with you.

5. LISTENING TO YOUR INTUITION

Your body is always giving you signals. It tells you when you're hungry, tired, or getting sick and it also gives you nudges of what feels right and wrong.

Learn to tune into your body and to listen to your intuition. Your intuition is your inner compass, taking you back to YOU, your authentic self.

6. RESPECTING BOUNDARIES

Being your authentic self also means respecting your personal boundaries which means saying NO. This is about self-empowerment and empowering others.

When we say no to others, we honour what we want instead of pleasing them. Saying no often means they have to take self-responsibility, they can no longer rely on you to pick up the pieces of their lives or rescue them from being out of their comfort zone.

Respecting boundaries is healthy for both parties. I can’t guarantee they will love it at first though but stick with it, it will be worth it in the long run.

7. CONTINUOUS GROWTH

Please remember that this is a journey, not a destination.

I know a lot of people when they embark on this journey expect that one day their lives are going to unicorns and rainbows.

Although you will experience joy and happiness more often, there will still be life challenges, however, when you know who you are there’ll no longer be the drama. So life gets easier.

4. COURAGE & COMPASSION

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