Let Go of Control and Feel Safe:
Embracing Trust Amidst Life's Uncertainties
Let Go of Control and Feel Safe:
Embracing Trust Amidst Life's Uncertainties
Setting up a business has been by far one of my hardest challenges so far.
At times it’s had me crumbling on the floor in a heap of tears wondering how to carry on.
However, on the brink of giving up, I’ve always managed to find some courage to carry on and take action even though I hadn’t a clue what to do next.
It has taught me, though, that throughout the journey, it takes TRUST.
TRUST in myself.
TRUST in my vision, my purpose, in my message.
TRUST that there’s a divine plan, that I’m guided every step of the way.
When we learn to trust,
We let go of things having to be a certain way
We let go of how it has to look, allowing life to mould and shape it into the way it is to be.
We let go of having things in a specific timescale ,trusting that we’re forever expanding and growing into what will come when we and it is ready.
When we trust,
We flow with the energy
We let go of resistance and trust whatever comes is for us,
even when it feels challenging.
It will at times feel like we’re taking steps back as we change what we perceive not to be working.
However, this is all part of our growth and learning, and it often creates space to let new ideas come through.
Trusting life opens us up to see the wonder of life.
It allows us to see the signs and synchronicities constantly being shown to us.
It allows us to see the bigger picture, that everything is unfolding perfectly at the right timing.
It brings us to the right people and circumstances, shows us the answers to our questions, and guides us to the right information so we can continue to move forward.
The KEY TO TRUSTING is:
• stay connected to your vision, your big ‘WHY’
• let go of having things be a certain way
• remain open to guidance
The other day I asked myself the question ‘what would happen if I completely trusted?’
and got the answer ‘I will be ok’
then I asked ‘what would happen if I didn’t trust?’
and got the answer ‘I will be ok’
So why don’t we trust?
In the nine months, we were being created, we completely trusted that everything happened as it was meant to. We had no control over the outcome; we allowed it.
And in the wise words of spiritual teacher Wayne Dyer, there became a point where we said, ‘that’s ok, god, I’ll take it from here’ ;-)
So when and why did we learn not to trust?
Why do we think we have a better plan or solution than what created us?
At some stage in our childhood, something happened that made us feel very afraid and made us feel unsafe, and the only way for us to feel safe again was to do anything to feel in control.
Our basic human need is for us to feel safe and secure. Notice I say human need and not spiritual need.
Here's an example of what caused little Mary not to trust.
Mary was upstairs in her bedroom, and she could hear her mum and dad arguing.
This made her feel very afraid of what could happen; she realised her life was not as safe and stable as she thought.
She felt completely out of control to stop them, and the only way for her to take control, and feel safe, was to withdraw and shut out the noise.
This then became Mary’s controlling pattern.
From this point on, whenever anything felt scary to her, she would withdraw and not follow through, or she would run away and do something else instead.
This is one of many controlling patterns Mary could have chosen.
- She could have cried and felt sorry for herself, helping her feel safe by focusing on her sadness.
- She could have become angry, overacting to every little thing just to get seen and heard.
- She could have pushed down any feelings, choosing to always control her emotions by not feeling them, keeping her safe from pain.
- She could have run into her little sister’s room, distracting herself from facing what was happening by rescuring her sister instead.
Whatever we've chosen becomes our default pattern.
So from this point on, whenever we perceive something threatens our sense of safety and security, we automatically react with this programmed default pattern instead of trusting we’ll be ok.
But this isn’t the truth of who we are and what’s happening to us.
We learned this, and all it does is cover the truth
The truth we can TRUST and FLOW with life’s ups and downs.
All it does is cause resistance as we push against the tide instead of going with it.
If we continue to follow our path, trusting or not trusting doesn’t make any difference to the outcome but will make a difference to the journey.
Trusting is a journey of flow, joy and peace.
There’s an inner knowing that everything will be ok no matter how difficult it feels.
Not trusting is a journey of fear and worry. Focusing on lack causes us a need to control and resist.
When you are trying to control something either by ‘trying to make something happen’ or by resisting it ‘wanting to give up or not moving forward’, it’s showing you your fears, where you’re not feeling safe and secure.
Where or what am I not trusting?
Where do I not feel safe or secure?
Why don’t I feel safe/secure?
What beliefs are behind this?
If that happened, what would it mean? What’s my biggest fear about this?
How does this make me feel?
How am I trying to control the outcome?
What am I doing to control this?
How is trying to control this helping me to feel safe?
How could I feel safe without controlling the (situation/person/behaviour/outcome)?
What would happen if I let go of the control and completely trusted everything would be ok?
How can I surrender and let go some more?
How can I be open to receiving guidance?
How can I be at peace with what will be?
When we don’t trust, we hold on tightly to every detail, which causes us resistance and much suffering.
When we let go, we surrender the problem to a higher power, call that our higher self, God, Allah, spirit guide, angels, etc.
We trust there’s something bigger than us lovingly guiding us that has our back no matter what.
I know when I’ve felt in the depths of despair in my life, people have come along, or new opportunities have presented themselves to me just at the right moment, and I’m sure you have examples of this in your life.
So I invite you to trust everything will be ok no matter what’s happening in your life.
This, too, will pass.
Much love
Rebecca x
Mind & Energy Coach
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Let Go of Control and Feel Safe: Embracing Trust Amidst Life's Uncertainties
