You notice him across a crowded room. He turns and looks straight at you 

BOOM, SIZZLE

You feel alive as this electric current surges through every cell of your being. 

What just happened? 

OMG, is this it? Is he ‘the one’ ???

Ever felt that? 

We emphasise this ‘spark’ so much that we often let great men pass us by because we didn’t feel this electric boom.

And hearing other women say  ‘it was love at first sight’ ‘I just knew, it felt amazing’ can often have us questioning a relationship if we don’t initially feel this. 

In my case, I have felt this spark with three men only for the relationship to hardly get started, fizzle out over time, and, even worse, destructive, causing us much pain.

This got me thinking, ‘what is this spark all about?’

Now I am not talking about chemistry here, and you do need chemistry; however, it’s different from the spark. 

Chemistry is a more sustainable all over feeling, a yearning of attraction, whereas the spark is BOOM, SIZZLE, and it knocks you for six.  

MYTH # 1 - If you feel the spark, then he must be ‘the one’ your ‘soul mate.’ 

Based on my experience where I had the spark, none of which lasted, causing painful breakups, yet with my husband, I had and have chemistry, yet I didn’t have the BOOM.

I even questioned if he was right for me because I didn’t have that instant spark. However, because I had chemistry and was following what I teach about feminine energy, I was willing to explore and find out and am I glad I did!

So what is the spark all about then?

I believe the spark is when ‘things in your energy attract to things in their energy’ ‘you are an energetic match causing an electric charge.’

Your energy recognises their energy and says, ‘this looks familiar (safe). Let’s get together.’

Now familiarity is not necessarily a good thing.

If you grew up in a dramatic household or had an abusive parent, there will be patterns and beliefs about men and relationships in your energy that need healing. 

Having this in your energy means you will attract men who also have this or teach you how to heal this.

And the more powerful the spark, the more healing there is to be done.

So, say, for example, your father didn’t know how to show love and was aloof, which has left you ‘needing’ this love and attention from men to fill the gap. You will attract an aloof, emotionally shut down man to teach you how to overcome and clear these patterns.  

Or you had a controlling dad. He came home drunk and hiding upstairs, you feared he’d take his anger out on you. This has left you scared of men, attracting in drama and possibly abuse in your relationships. I know this doesn’t seem safe however it’s better than the unknown, as it’s familiar. 

'We attract in what we are familiar with, not what we necessarily want'.

I’m not saying any of this is your fault in any way. However, when we recognise what we attract, we can change what’s in our energy and change who we attract.

Knowing this is empowering! 

I believe the spark is the universe saying,‘you two need to get together as there’s some healing to be done here’. 

Then when the healing takes place, the relationship either fizzles out or continues in different energy.

This is why doing the clearing from your energy is so important, so you don’t continue to attract in the same abusive, destructive or dysfunctional relationship time and time again.

Now I appreciate I’m giving the spark a bad press here.

However, if it is the universe, then it is instrumental for you to do the healing work and then let them go when the time’s right.

So many women hold onto a relationship for dear life because they had the spark. Please know you can experience chemistry with many men.   

MYTH # 2, ‘he’s the one’, or ‘there’s one out there for each of us.’ 

If you have this belief, think about how this may be limiting you. 

IMPORTANT….. You attract men who are the same energetic vibration as you.

And believe me when I say ‘there is more than one in how many billion people !’


So do the work to raise your energetic vibration to attract better quality men… 

...the more you do, the more you’ll see the results

and as you do, you’ll notice positive differences in the men you attract

you’ll become confident in your ability to attract them 

and if, after a date, he doesn’t message or call, so what, you’ll say to yourself, ‘if not you, then who?’

excited at the prospect of who you’ll attract next 

and you’ll know when it happens, it ‘feels’ right, loving, and in flow.


Love Rebecca x

p.s. If you know you need help to heal your heart and discover how to practise radical self-love book a discovery call now.